Proud Preggie user California Haley truly busts all those preconceived notions about what a mom is!
Bright and easy going, this twenty-one-year-old mother of a nine month-old baby boy, Tannon James, can drive a crane and supervise a rock quarry, and fix the shocks and brakes on her pickup truck. She has spent time in Japan and Korea, went on epic road trips with her dad, including to the Texas Rattlesnake Roundup – where they catch thousands of rattlesnakes over four days – yet she’s quite at home handling all the emotionally hypercharged and sleep-deprived days that lead into the nights and occasional tranquil moments of motherhood.
Living now in a beautiful mountain town surrounded by pines in the foothills of Yosemite National Park, Haley grew up in California but her childhood was hardly one of sunsoaked bliss. What saved her was father.
How did you meet your husband?
I met my husband on Facebook, through a couple mutual friends. About six months after our first date, we were engaged. I knew he was the one straight away. Also after meeting my dad twice, my dad told me he was a good one and not to screw up. I trust my dad’s opinions. He’s right far more times than he’s wrong.
How was your pregnancy?
It was pretty easy, but I had to stop working after four or five months because of my job as a heavy machine operator at my dad’s rock quarry. I wasn’t allowed to continue working while pregnant. According to mining laws, you can’t operate loud, heavy equipment while pregnant. And there weren’t any other positions available there.
My parents divorced when I was five years old. I guess I was a daddy’s girl, and the day he packed up and left was really hard. Later, I moved in with him when I was eleven.
I started going to his work when I was ten, cleaning tools and putting them away, and then when I was fourteen or fifteen, I started going everyday after school and weekends – and everyday in the summer. I think it made me more independent, smarter and I matured a lot faster. I’m certified to operate a crane, dozers, but I don’t have big-rig license, although I can drive one. I’m the only woman there besides the bookkeeper, who comes in Thursdays and Friday.
I remember when I was sixteen, my dad had this ’93 manual Dodge Ram 2500. It had been sitting at work for two years. Then one day, he started it and said, “It’s yours!” It was dented and dirty. But now I’m thankful he gave me that. It had so many problems, but I learned to fix them all: changed the shocks, the front brakes, small engine things. I replaced the bed with the help of a crane and the U-Joints cracked. I sat in a parking lot, removed the joints, took off the driveline and drove to work.
What was the hardest thing about your pregnancy?
My last two weeks of pregnancy, I had high blood pressure. I’m only 5’ 2” and Tannon was so big. He was pushing against my main arteries. I had bed rest for three weeks, which drove me crazy. I ended up watching Netflix and posting on Preggie all the time.
What do you love most about Preggie?
It makes me feel I have more friends. Moms on Preggie are going through the same stuff I’ve been through. They’re in a similar situation, and I feel I’m not alone, I’m more supported. And all the moms are so nice and helpful, it’s really a supportive community. Now that I’m a mom, I like helping out all the pregnant women on there now that I’m the experienced one.
How has being a parent changed you?
My parenting style is different than how I thought it would be. I never thought I would be that mom doing cloth diapers, home birth, breastfeeding. I never thought I would be a hippie. I thought if I’m ever pregnant, I would get an epidural! I didn’t even know what a midwife was. I did a whole one-eighty on my parenting. Once it became real, I read up on facts. I realized I didn’t have all the information before. I got more information and made informed decisions.
What’s your proudest moment so far as a mom?
My son weighs almost twenty-five pounds! I’m still breastfeeding, and I’m the one who made him like this.
What’s the best thing about being a mom?
I have a little person, and no matter what you do or how you mess up, they don’t care. If I burn dinner, he doesn’t care. Miss an important doctor’s appointment or a work meeting, he doesn’t care. They love you if you don’t put on makeup or take a shower! You’re always supermom, the biggest hero ever. I think that’s awesome.
What’s your advice for pregnant and new moms?
Do whatever is best for you and your baby. We went back and forth about a home birth. At first, my husband didn’t think I could do it, being in pain, but in the end, I felt I wanted a home birth. It would be beneficial for my baby and me. And the decision was mine to make! So then my husband was supportive, but the hesitation came from other people. His friends would say, “My wife said a natural birth was too hard” or that I wasn’t capable of doing it. I felt that I could, and I was determined to show everyone how strong I really was.
I’m very stubborn like my dad, and I like to take care of things on my own. And motherhood has increased my strength.
Ask Haley for advice and share your own experiences in our app today, download it here: http://bit.ly/women_ontheverge
